June 19th, 2013

8lbs 5oz, 22in

This was the day I found out my daughter was diagnosed with Down Syndrome. As soon as she was born, the doctors took her straight to the NICU to monitor her heart because she has ASD&VSD in her heart, which came with the DS. I wasn’t able to see her for at least two hours! Once I got to see her, she was hooked up to so many machines. I was so afraid to even touch her because I thought I’d hurt her. The doctors told me she was perfectly fine. Just needed to be under observation. I cried with tears full of joy when they finally let me hold my baby girl for the first time in my arms… I had spoken with her regular doctor who was keeping her under watch. He explained to me she knew for a fact my daughter had Down Syndrome without even getting the test results back. All he explained to me is that he wanted Jolee to feed on her own before she could go home. He also told me to be up bright and early so I could speak with a couple people who could help me assist her. I really just wanted to go back to my room with her but they wouldn’t let me. I spent as much time as I could with her before I was extremely exhausted. I felt so empty going to bed without being able to hold her. I just had so many questions running through my head. “Could I ever have more kids because of her condition?” “Will I be able to support her in every way possible?” “Will my boyfriend get up and leave and let me struggle on my own?”. I ended up giving myself the worst headache possible. I just wanted it to be a new day so I could see my daughter again. I ended up crying myself to sleep that night…

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